That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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