Christians are straight up FREAKS
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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