totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
