doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
