he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
