A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
