It was confusing and full of hummus
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
