belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
do herpes really smell.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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