also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
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I see you were visited by R. Kelly.
They rinsed you off when they were done.
It wasn't water.
Covered in water? Who the fuck says that? I believe the word you're looking for is wet. You woke up wet and naked. Coincidentally, my two favorite words.
If it was water it would've dried while you were asleep,
I'd say you got peed on.
"You can't explain that"
Maybe sweat? Probably a bit more logical.
Nobody can explain it? Really? Nobody thought "Maybe she took a shower"?