oh god the rape fog is back!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Randomize
