I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
