I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You made out with two different species that night
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
