S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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