i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
