i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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