I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
