i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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