Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
