Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
