this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
