He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
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