Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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