No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She swung at the pinata with crutches
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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