Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
