If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
