in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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