you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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