Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
