trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
