dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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