I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize