I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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