sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
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Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize