I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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