what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
