Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
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