Got a toothbrush?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
