She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
