im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Holy shit dude........stairs
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
