I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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