You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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