Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize