i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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