Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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