I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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