C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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