hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
