you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
