thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
