just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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