found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
