2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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