Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
