Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
