but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There r osticjed everywhere
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
