It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
