i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What changed your mind?
Being sober
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
