He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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