the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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