so explain again why im purple
no
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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