Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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