Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
