Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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