he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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