They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay