My room smells like vodka and shame
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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