8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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