arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
